The Need for Socialization During COVID-19

   

      One of the hardest parts of COVID-19 for my own children has been the significant reduction in socialization.  This is not a surprise based upon the limits put on interactions and their own social-emotional developmental stage. Being around peers is normal and healthy part of child development.  At age 5 or 18, kids work to develop a stable self-concept, determine standards for their behavior, learn how the social world works, and develop strategies for self-control through peer interaction. In older adolescents, teens begin to actively separate from their parents. The need to be accepted by friends and belong to a peer group increases starting around age 7 and  prosocial behaviors (such as cooperation, sharing, and empathy) are acquired.  With peers, children and teens learn how to handle conflict, build trust, practice loyalty, and how to support others. Time with other children is a crucial piece of growing up and sadly children and teens have lost many of these opportunities since March.  This has caused some kids and adolescents to act out at home, feel down, or lonely.  This is ok, and should even be expected. (Click here to see Mental Health Red Flags for which parents should stay alert.)

So how can you support your child work through these social developmental milestones while interactions are limited? Deciding between allowing social interaction and protecting from the corona-virus is a balancing act.  It may help to think of social activities on a spectrum of risk to determine what is best for your child and family.  Emily Smith, Assistant Professor of Global Health, Exercise, and Nutrition Sciences at George Washington University’s Milken Institute School of Public Health, suggests considering people, space, place, and time before deciding to meet with others. 

People: Try to keep the total number of people with whom your children interact to a minimum.  This may mean only allowing in-person interaction with a very small number of friends.

Space:  I think we all know that 6 feet apart or more is best. Wearing a mask is advised, especially in situations where 6 feet cannot be guaranteed.

Place:  Outside is better than inside.  Open spaces carries less risk of infection, therefore setting up play dates that involve walks in the park or kickball is better than indoor play.

Time:  Increased time together equals an increase is risk of infection.  Per the CDC, being within 6 feet of a sick person with COVID-19 for a total of 15 minutes counts as a COVID exposure. 

So, now that you know how to lower the risks of exposure- what are activities that have lower risks and could allow your child the chance to interact with their peers? Phone calls and video calls are no risk of infection. The Mayo Clinic suggested that outdoor activities such as walking, running, and biking are low risk.  They also suggest outside games like sidewalk chalk and frisbee (with the use of hand sanitizer) or meet ups for drive-in movies, and picnics (stay 6 ft apart and bring your own food and utensils).

Ultimately, this is a personal decision based upon the health and needs of your family. You must weigh the consequences of a COVID-19 exposure (possible sickness, or quarantine) against the reward for socialization.  There's no easy answer and the struggle is real. If your having trouble deciding, talk about it with someone you trust or try making a pros and cons list.   In the absence of treatment and a vaccine, Bertha Hidalgo, an epidemiologist and associate professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham’s School of Public Health recommends you proceed with caution and take care to assess risk. “We simply don’t know enough about the virus to be cavalier about returning to before-COVID life. We still need to proceed with caution and do it not only for ourselves, but for others as well,” she says.

**Please reach out to your child's school counselor or try one of these resources if you are worried about the mental health of your child.**

Resources:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/06/how-quarantine-will-affect-kids-social-development/613381/
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/socializing-during-coronavirus-what-to-know
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/php/public-health-recommendations.html
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/safe-activities-during-covid19/art-20489385 

 

Remote Learning Tips for Parents Helping at Home

With Governor Cooper's August 5th announcement of the Phase 2 COVID-19 Extension, it looks as if students will continue remote learning (partial or all day) until at least September 11th.  Even if your child plans to return to campus once we are open for hybrid learning, they will still receive at least half of their instruction on-line.  These tips might help you support your child while they are learning at home. 

• Provide an Environment Conducive to Learning:  Set your child up in a part of the house that is (mostly) free of distractions and that is easily monitored with little interruption. Try to model a classroom setting as much as possible- dressed for the day, sitting at a table, lights on, electronics (except for school computer) off, toys put away, etc.  Background noise or calming music can often help. Make sure that they have all their learning materials in this place- log in passwords, computer, pencils, post-it notes, paper, notebooks, etc.

• Set a Learning Schedule: The closer this is to a ‘school schedule,’ the easier it will be on everyone- especially when we moved to hybrid learning. In terms of setting up the schedule students often benefit from starting the day with the most difficult subject and moving on to the ones they like the most. This builds in self- motivation. Of course, this may need to work around any Zoom Meetings scheduled. It may also benefit your child if they can cross completed items off a to do list.  Finally, note that this schedule can revised to fit your circumstance at home (your work schedule, sleeping schedules, etc.). However once you have got something that works, stick to it. 

• Use a Timer: Let your child decide how much time they need to get an assignment finished (or you make this decision if necessary.)  Remember that children can concentrate on one task for two to five minutes per year old. (So an 8 year old should be able to work for 16-40 minutes.) Then set the timer and let them work independently.  Do not check up on them during this time.  By constantly checking on them, you might send the message that you do not think they can do it on their own. At the end of the timer, go over what they were able to complete.  Celebrate what they accomplished.  If the work is not finished, ask how much more time they might need and reset the timer.  If the child keeps asking for help before the timer is up, you may need to reduce the amount of time for them to work independently.  Also, remember to give them a brain break (1-3 minutes) between subjects.  Do a few jumping jacks, take a walk around the house, or pet the cat or dog before starting the next task.

• Teach Your Child How To Get Help: Your child's teacher(s) are available to help, but can only assist if they know your child is struggling.  Teach your child how to "raise their hand" and ask for help themselves. Self-advocacy is an important life skill and now is a great time to teach it! Show them how to send their teacher an email through their school account or how to send a message through the Canvas Inbox. Help them make a list of questions to ask during their next Zoom meeting. You job is not to solve all of their problems, but to teach them how to solve problems on their own.

• Make sure all work is completed: One of the easiest ways to see if there are missing on-line assignments is to utilize the "Grades" page under each course in the Canvas Parent App or through your child's student Canvas account.  It's also a good idea to teach your kids how to check for missing assignments this way.  This provides a running list of all assignments and lets you know which items were turned in and which were not submitted. Please note that these assignments may not sync with PowerSchool and that is ok. Use this as a quick tool to help your child meet deadlines. For any work that remains incomplete ensure that it is incomplete for a good reason and has a time-bound, actionable next-step (e.g., email the teacher asking for clarification).

Please let us know if these tips help.  Also, if you wish to share other ideas that have led to your child's success, please leave them in the comments!  Sharing is caring.

https://www.teachthought.com/technology/remote-learning-tips-for-parents/
https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-focus-adhd-child-homeschool/

Our Temporary New Normal

We all have a new normal and we’re all trying to adapt to the temporary changes. Students may be nervous and confused about what’s happening. Assure them that adults are making the best decisions to help everyone be safe and healthy. An important aspect of counseling is understanding not to focus or worry about things outside of our control. This current pandemic is out of our control, but we can control how we respond. Share with your child that with a positive attitude they can overcome anything. Students will be home for two weeks so let's make it fun. Create memories and enjoy spending some quality time together. Below are some ideas that can bring the family together and help with anxiety and stress. Have fun and enjoy your time together! Feel free to post and share family bonding or madness during our quarantine.

• Have an open discussion and answer any questions your child may have. If you’re not sure of an answer, to be honest, and say not sure. The goal is to reassure any fears they may have.
• Game night
• Movie night
• Dance night
• Charades (Google great resource) 
• Yoga (Youtube is a great resource)
• Read a book
• Write in a journal

Free Resource from CALM

I wanted to share this free resource being offered through CALM.
There is a section dedicated to kids that includes music, sleep stories, breathing activities for anxiety, yoga and lots more:
https://www.calm.com/blog/take-a-deep-breath#calmkids

There is also a section for adults/all:
https://www.calm.com/blog/take-a-deep-breath

Take some time outside today in the beautiful weather. Listen to the birds and animals as they wake up for spring. Feel the sun on your face and take a deep breath.

Please reach out to your school counselor with specific needs or requests or if you have ideas of what else could be shared to help our UA family.

Supporting Children Who Are Worried About Coronavirus

Now seems like an appropriate time to remind you of techniques you can use to help children deal with stressful events- like the current concern over the Coronavirus. With the constant talk of it on the news and the cancellation of school, it is no wonder that children and teens are worried and anxious. It is important to remember that kids take cues from adults on how to react to stressful events. If you appear worried, they will worry too. So how can you help your child remain calm and feel safe? Check out these tips from https://www.counselorkeri.com/.

And if you need some ideas on how to help your child calm down when over anxious.  CounselorKeri.com offers these tips:

As always, please let a school counselor know if you have a particular a particular concern. We are here to help. (And thank you Counselor Keri for freely sharing these resources.)