Discussion on Parenting with Love and Logic Online Course: May 12 @ 8 pm

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Mrs. Beare, Mrs. Smith, and I are so excited that over 32 Union Academy parents have registered for the Parenting with Love and Logic Online course AND have shown interest in joining our UA Parent Discussion! We will hold our first discussion group through Zoom on Tuesday, May 12 @ 8pm. If you wish to participate, please let us know by filling out this form:  https://forms.gle/jyAUnN6PGeoEjaaFA. I will then send you an invitation and password to participate in the Zoom Meeting. (If you already filled out this form, an invitation was sent Wednesday morning.)

To prepare for our first discussion, please watch Module 1 of the Parenting with Love and Logic Online course.  In this module, we learn the importance of not arguing with our children and the“brain dead” technique for remaining in control of verbal battles (arguments, beginning, or whining).  This week, try using the brain dead technique.  Pick your favorite “one-liner” and put it to use.  We will discuss how it worked.  Try to identify the ways your child/children tried to “pull you into” a verbal battle.  What were your triggers?

Also great news!  If you missed registering for the course, or know someone who might benefit from learning the Love and Logic parenting method, they have extended their offer for the Free Parenting Course.  Interested individuals now have until May 15th to register. Click this link to register for the course. (On May 16th it returns to regular price- $99.) Feel free to share this blog post or pass along this opportunity to others.  

Reading 'Even Super Heroes Have Bad Days' with Mrs. Beare

     I ordered this book for classroom guidance lessons, but I think it is a great reminder of perseverance. Shelly Becker reminds kids (and adults) that you may not be able to control what is going on around you, but you CAN control how YOU react to it. All of those feelings, even angry or frustrated ones, are all okay and normal to have. What you do with those feelings is what makes the difference between trouble and self-confidence.
     Mrs. Brun offered some great suggestions in her blog post It's Okay to feel upset, it's how you respond that matters. I encourage you to revisit it!
To see the read-aloud on YouTube please click below:
Reading Even Super Heroes Have Bad Days by Shelly Becker with Mrs. Beare

Please reach out to your school counselor if you need additional support. You can find our contact information to the right of this post.

Help! My kid is still struggling!

       I have had some recent requests for resources for our kiddos who continue to struggle to find their 'calm'. Although restrictions will begin to be loosened in the near future, this does not necessarily mean we will be back to business as usual. I have found a few resources that I think may continue to help families navigate the ongoing changes.
       I found this video about supporting children when parents are away. Although it is designed for secondary caregivers, I found it to be a powerful visual resource for how you can help your child find their calm and what you can do as an adult when they just cannot do it for their child-self. It is well worth the 19 minutes it took to watch. The creator of the video is Conscious Discipline® is which is a comprehensive classroom management program and a social-emotional curriculum. You do have to sign up for access to their website but it is free (option to purchase the premium version). This video is available in the free version along with LOTS of other amazing free resources.


       I also found another resource from Counselor Keri. I turn to her resources frequently! She just published an article about Setting up a Calm Corner at Home. She explains what this is and makes suggestions of items to have in it. (Of course, she has options to purchase items from her, but you can be creative and create from what you have on hand at home too! Ask your child to help you decide what you put in it. Their help will invest them in the corner and also tailor it to what best fits your kiddo!) Counselor Keri also explains how to use the Calm Corner and how to support your child after they have used this tool. It can be a great tool for your child, and for you! You can model how to use it when YOU are the one frustrated/angry/sad (plus it's a nicer place to give yourself a timeout than the bathroom).
 
        I think it is important to remember there is so, so much out of our control - more than typical right now. Mrs. Syvestre posted this previously, but I think it fits here quite well as a reminder to stop and ask ourselves, and our kids, the simple question 'is this in my control?' Remember, focus your energy on what is!

And, last but not least I want to remind you that knowing what is coming is a HUGE comfort and very effective antidote to anxiety! Here is the link to Mrs. Brun's blogpost Your Friend the Daily Schedule. It is never too late to start, you just need the next minute (and determination) to do it.






Please reach out to your grade level School Counselor for additional support. Our contact information is posted to the right. =>     
     

Parenting with Love and Logic- FREE Parenting Course if you register by April 30

Are you struggling as a parent? Feel like you are spending a lot of time time arguing, yelling, or fighting with your kids to just "do what they are told"?  You are not alone.  The stress of the Coronavirus and having to Shelter-At-Home has everyone, parents and kids, on edge. As I was personally searching for the best way to deal with my teenage son's 'back talk', I realized that Parenting with Love and Logic is a resource from which many of you may also benefit. I also discovered that they are offering the

Love and Logic Parenting Online course (Click here)

for FREE through the month of April!  Yes, I realize that I have stumbled upon this resource on April 27th, only a few days before the offer ends. However, once you register for the course, it is available for 3 months.  Even if you only watch one module of this course, I promise that you will walk away with at least one new idea on how to be better parent. The course consists of 6 video modules that each last 30-45 minutes:
Module 1: Putting an End to Arguing, Back Talk and Begging
Module 2 Teaching Responsibility Without Losing Their Love
Module 3: Setting Limits Without Waging War
Module 4: Avoiding Power-Struggles
Module 5: Guiding Kids to Own and Solve Their Problems
Module 6: Teaching Kids to Complete Chores…Without Reminders and Without Pay

As a mom and school counselor, I will tell you that if I had to pick a favorite parenting method, this would be it:  Parenting with Love and Logic.  I've read the series multiple times and I return to it again and again when I feel that I am losing control as a mom. (And to be honest, these early teenage years bait me into arguing a lot more than I want.) The parenting philosophy is based upon a belief that if we set and enforce limits using compassion and empathy, and if we allow our children to feel the consequences (good or bad) of their choices, we will teach them appropriate behavior while developing a healthy, loving, and respectful relationship.  I especially love this parenting style because it is simple to learn and they have come up with suggestions on how to deal with most every parenting situation from toddlers to teens.  When I feel "stuck", I often go to their website or open one of their books and look up their suggested response.  It is the closest thing you will find to a Parenting Guide. Trust me. 

So if you are looking for a few new ideas on how to be a better parent, register for the course, but do it by Thursday, April 30th if you want it for free. (On May 1st it returns to regular price- $99.) For those who are interested, I am planning to host a parenting discussion after each module.  This will be a Zoom meeting where we can discuss the topics covered in the module and share with each other our experiences.  If you are interested, please let me know by completing this quick form: https://forms.gle/jyAUnN6PGeoEjaaFA.  I hope to schedule our first discussion by the end of next week.

A Message for Teens During Covid-19

Mrs. Mitchell shared with the counseling department this video from Noah Couser.  It is his message to adolescents about considering how they may spend their time during this time of quarantine. "How can students make the most of this COVID-19 Quarantine time? Here is some solid advice on how to battle the anxiety, develop character, strengthen relationships, and work toward a better future through intentional living.  Whether you are a middle school or high school, or college student or not a student at all, we all can do our best to make the most of this time of social distance and isolation to try to become our best self."  In the video, he asks the questions: How do you want to be different when this is over? Who can you help? His message is important, so be sure to share it! 

4 Things to Bring Your Family Together While Stuck At Home

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Thomas Likona, author of Raising Kind Kids, recently wrote an article for Psychology Today on 13 Things to Do With Your Family During the Coronavirus. While all of his ideas were great (and I encourage you to read the entire article) here are the few that really hit home for me:

1.  Count Your Blessings:  Do this with a kid, spouse, or any other adult. Take turns saying anything positive from the day that you’re grateful for. "It can be something you got done, a way you helped someone, a kind thing someone did for you…maybe just a blue sky and sunshine."

2. Meal Time Conversations: Likona suggested conversation starters from Harvard’s The Family Dinner Project, CHAT PACK (from TheQuestionGuys.com), and How to Raise Kind Kids, and he even gave a few to get you started:

• “What are two things you like about being a member of our family?”
• “What are two things other people can do to make you happy?”
• “What are two things you can do to make other people happy?”
• “What is something you wish we did more often as a family?”
• “What was one of the best things about today and one of the hardest things?”
• "What’s something that happened today that you didn’t expect?”
• “What helps you make a decision when you aren’t sure what to do?”
• “Why do some kids do drugs?”
• “What is something you wish everybody knew?”
• “What is an experience you’ve never told the family about?”
• “If there’s one thing you would have done differently in your life if you could, what would it be?”
• “If you wrote a letter to the President or someone else about one thing we could do to make our country better, what would you say?”

3. Watch a family movie and discuss it: "Good movies, like good books, are better when you talk about them." Watch the movie together and bring it up in discussion the next day.  I personally like to use Common Sense Media to help select movies and they almost always give you conversation starters or topics for after the movie.  I recently discovered that they have created lists of movies based upon character traits.  Check the lists out and set up a movie date with your family: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/best-for-character-development-lists

4. Help those in need. The poor have been hit hardest by the pandemic and will suffer the most going forward. Here are a few non-profits in our area who are in desperate need of donations:

• HOPE Union County sent out a request last week for diapers (Newborn, 1,2,3,) baby wipes, formula (Similac powder, but we will use what is given), baby cereal, and  baby bottles.   If you can help, drop off at the 601 side (far left end) of the Union County Human Services location at 2330 Concord Avenue.  Ring the bell at the top of the steps when you arrive and someone will come to the dock door to get the items from you. The hours/days for drop offs are Monday through Friday, 8 am until 5 pm. Contact Gloria Haney for more information- T: 704-296-4312 C: 704-622-6750
• Donate to Food Pantries.  Listed below are food banks in our area that according to their websites are in desperate need of nonperishable foods such as canned veggies, soups, fruits, meats, dry goods such as cereal, grits, oatmeal, spaghetti & sauce, macaroni  & cheese or any pasta, dry beans , peanut butter and jelly.  You can also donate to any of the food banks listed here.
• Operation Reach Out- 1308 Miller Street, Monroe 704-289-4237
• Common Heart- 116 Business Park Dr, Indian Trail, NC 28079 from 10-3 PM (M-F). For larger donations or perishable items, contact CommonHeart@CommonHeart.org to arrange a time to drop off your donations at our main pantry.

If you liked these suggestions, I highly recommend reading Likona's full article listed above.  Keep safe and try to find the silver lining in this pandemic cloud by bringing your family together!

Mrs. Beare is Practicing Zen Zoo Mindfulness by Counselor Keri

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It seems somewhat of a paradox to think that with all of this alone time we need to take a minute to 'be alone' but alone without purpose can be overwhelming and the quiet can be deafening. Using mindfulness has been scientifically shown to provide several positive benefits to our physical and emotional well being.

I would like to share some Mindfulness exercises by Counselor Keri I have posted on my YouTube Channel (the videos are unlisted so please click the link below to view them). Counselor Keri has a lot of amazing resources that I have used in small groups and classroom lessons. You can find her here to see what she has to offer!

You can find videos of me doing Zen Zoo Mindfulness activities here:

Welcome to our Mindful Zen Zoo
Zen Zoo Attentive Alligator
Zen Zoo Buzzing Bee
Zen Zoo Crouching Cat
Zen Zoo Detective Duck
Zen Zoo Engaged Elephant
Zen Zoo Focused Flamingo
Zen Zoo Journaling Giraffe
Zen Zoo Hugging Hen
Zen Zoo Inhaling Iguana

P.S. I would love to see pictures of the kiddos doing some of these activities! I certainly miss seeing their smiling faces!